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Don't Scratch That Rash! It's Only Personnel Changes
I think I've got it figured out. Yep, I think I do.
Southern Gospel Music has just undergone another round of personnel changes, leaving many of us trying to remember just where who is. Or was. Or is going to. Or might have been. Or...I've gotta quit, my head is swimming.
Anyway, I think I know what's going on. These personnel changes are caused by something and I KNOW THE REASON!
Oh, we've all danced around it for years. We've pointed to money. We've pointed to personality conflicts. We've pointed to the well-used phrase of God leading them. We've pointed to family.
In reality we've pointed to everyone and everything but the right reason.
But, no longer. Today, it all comes out. The real reason will be exposed!
You see, it's all about benefits. Who benefits from the changes groups endure? There's only one person. No, it's not the record company. No, it's not the booking agency. No, it's not the group itself.
It's...it's...it's....wait for it....
Yes! That's right - it's the Southern Gospel PHOTOGRAPHER!
Think about it - I have to be right! New group member? New photo. Old member comes back? New photo.
Les Beasley of the Florida Boys, with all the tenor changes he's had down through the years, has made several photographers very happy. New tenor comes on the bus, new roll of film goes in the camera.
What about the Kingsmen? Because they had so many people on the road, they were a prime target of the photographers. New band member? New 8x10. New singer? New poster.
For the longest time, photographers loved to hang around in the driveways of the Anchormen and the Wilburns. These two groups have been responsible for putting so many people into the Southern Gospel Music industry that photographers treasured them like gold and diamonds.
You just know the photographers are keeping an eye on the Crabb Family. (Sorry guys, that's a family group, so the changes will be few and far between - just ask the photographer who shoots the McKameys' pictures. He works less than the Maytag repairman.)
It's my opinion that Southern Gospel photographers are not too keen on soloists. Why? Shoot one picture. See you in five years.
Oh sure, there are a couple of groups who can keep a photographer busy. But what about the other shutterbugs? They are in danger of being out of work - unless they can keep changes happening in the groups.
I wonder how they do it? Is it a whisper in the ear full of promises of a great new photo where he/she is the focal point in the picture?
However they do it, the photographers have got their system down to a perfection. They must - just look how many changes have just happened.
After they planted their little "let's go to a different bus seed," they went to their office and waited by the phone. With a smile on their face - and a calculator in their hands.
Creative creatures, aren't they? Right now, somewhere, there's a group with a big "bull's eye" on them from some picture taker. Who will it be? Who will be their next victim?
Okay, back to reality now. While I truly hope you understand that I have written this as pure humor, I hope you also understand that this reasoning is about as absurd as many of the suggestions I've heard regarding recent group changes. Folks, just let it drop and enjoy listening the "new" versions of the groups. When someone makes a change, respect it and go on.
They are real people, too. Just like you.
Posted by Danny Jones at 9:12 AM - Send Comments
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